One of the biggest challenges we face as parents is being able to understand our children. Not only do we have to learn to pick up their cues and empathies with their feelings, we should also encourage our children to express their own thoughts and feelings.
Babies are generally very expressive individuals. They show their feelings very openly in their faces, and cry or laugh easily to various stimuli. As they grow older, the impulse to express themselves gradually comes under control, and they become less inclined to wearing their
hearts on their sleeves. Later, as adults, they learn to hide their feelings or ignore them because childhood experiences have taught them that showing their feelings might bring hurt. A person who thus suppresses his feelings may suffer from psychological imbalances, and become either withdrawn or violent.
Babies who are understood tend to cry less, have better health, and a greater joy to be with. They have a greater deep emotions, can recognize and analyze their own feelings, are empathetic to others and more mature emotionally. Such babies and children will grow up to be happier, healthier and emotionally well-rounded individuals.
When the expression of a child's feeling is suppressed, a distance forms between the child and her parents. Over time, she may become disconnected from her parents, and the familial bond is broken. It is therefore important for you to connect with your child. Understanding her is important for your child's mental and emotional health- as well as your family's overall well-being.
Here some ways to connect with you babies and children, and maintain the ties of love between you both :-
1. Given what she asks - does not mean she can get any expensive toys. It means responding to her needs when she asks for attention, and it begins from her very first day of life. Responding sensitively to your child's need will affirm her expressions. This will encourage her to become expressive. Research shown that breastfeed mother respond quickly to her babies and children as their bonding is very strong.
2. Know her body language - Using body language is a good way to understand your babies as they have their own language to communicate to you - eye to eye contact, hand gesture, facial expression, etc. By paying particular to her bodily cues when her verbal skills are not strong enough yet, it becomes easier for you as a parent to understand your child, even later in life.
3. Acknowledge her feelings - Little things matter a lot to your children, and your attention and empathy are especially important, even if your child is only bored or lonely. Try to identify her feelings and asses herself the right reaction by saying : You haven't been very happy today, have you? Tell mummy what is wrong instead of saying 'Don't cry'
4. Feel her pain - Being sympathetic and sensitive to your child's pain will teach her to do the same thing to others. It also teaches her that however insignificant it seems, the expression of her emotions is important to you.
5. Learn to listen - Listen carefully before you make judgment and try to understand her view before offering any solution. 2 way communication is the best instead of being authoritative. It was shown that if only your child who is going to listen to you, they will become more undisciplined in future. They won't respect you but may be scared at you, which is not right.
6. Match your expectations to her maturity - Do not expect your child to act like adults
7. Trust your child - Give your child the benefit of doubt when assessing her behavior. Trusting your child means believing in her enough to think the best of her in all solutions.
8. Do not expect her to meet your needs
9. Words do hurt - Be aware of how deeply blame and criticism can affect your child. Emotionally abuse equally hurt as physically abuse.
10. Express your feelings - Show to her your love her. Your expression will encourage her to open up and tell you how she feels
Last but not least - the tips can also be apply to your family other than your babies and children - your wife, husband, mother and father, siblings.
The most important things how we treat other people is how we will get in return.
Sunday, April 24, 2005
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